Take Time to Truly Be in the Moment

It's summer. Probably there is a breeze. I'm sure the sun is shining brightly. I am sure the gravel is slick and that it makes a familiar crunch when it is walked upon. I probably say the words good girl, tighten the cinch. Across the street, I'm sure the familiar smell of pine trees drifts across from the dry, over eaten llama farm. But it is just a picture and the exact moment escapes my memory. 

It's funny, isn't it, how everyday memories slip by and things change, oh ever so slowly, until you suddenly realize there is a gully between how things once used to be and how they are now. 

I payed a visit to my old blog, one I had started when I lived up in the mountains well over four years ago. I clicked around and found myself looking at a picture of my horse. A beautiful bay, with a rather short tail due to another one of our animals having chewed it off. I rarely think about that horse, the one I cried so much about selling. I moved on. I had new occupations, new experiences. And slowly, ever so slowly those memories drift away into the past. And there is a cavity. 

What is more, I find that other things have changed. Not that all change is bad. Not that most change is bad. I would have to say that many changes have produced results which are far from bad. But I have been thinking about siblings lately and how things change there. 

My brothers and I did pretty much everything together growing up. When their friends were over, I played with them. And when my friends were over, I would often be joined by one or both of my brothers. Somewhere back in the distance, our van was a space vehicle. We operated high speed pursuits on our bicycles around our small concrete patio. We were dogs and horses. Royalty and homesteaders. My sister and I shared a room for probably ten years. We attended plays, drove together, talked late at night. In due timing, my siblings and I slowly began to drift to other pursuits. Military auxiliary, sports, a wedding, and our own hobbies began to lead us slowly, ever so slowly further away from each other as we each began to pick and choose the direction which we wanted our life to go. I believe this is all good but what I have realized recently is that while one drifts away in their occupations, one can also drifts away in different, more serious ways. 

No. I am not estranged from any of my three siblings. I talk to all of them almost daily, including my sister who lives in Virginia. But I have come to almost take them for granted. Instead of seeking out or just enjoying time with my siblings, other things come in the way- homework, time to self, friends. My point is not that we should all continue living as little children. No. It is good to grow up. To expand your horizons. To make new friends. And yes, even one day to move away and have different experiences from your immediate family. My point is merely that the time we have right now with our families is important. It doesn't mean you spend all of your time invested solely in your family. It simply means that we should make the most of and treasure the moments which we have right now- whether that is a 5 minute chat with your sibling or a long vacation as a family. It means truly investing in every moment which you have contact with those in your life- be it your friends or your family. 

My challenges is to you, take time to truly be in the moment with those who you are with. With school coming up and work on going, there will be a time to say, "I'm sorry. I need to get this done." But in the time which you find that you are or can spend with family or friends, really truly invest in them. Put aside for a while the pile of dishes, the homework, the worries, the next item on your to-do list. All those things can be done when you go to do them. Instead, focus, listen, enjoy, invest.

My awesome siblings, I love you all so much and hope I will better be able to truly invest my time which I spend with you. You guys are incredible and I cannot imagine life without you. 

I used to be from...

Have you ever just had one of those thoughts. 

And you think about that thought- over and over again- until you are not even sure what originally made you have that thought but somehow that thought continues to persist... 

This morning, I was right there. And having the type of brain I have, I began to quietly compose a blog post long before I actually started to write. What was this thought? 

I used to be from the country. 

Or something like that. Profound isn't it? Perhaps not. But it had me thinking about insecurity and identity and what we identify with. 

Way Back Then (Okay... Maybe not WAY)

I live in a city. I really truly do and I am very happy with where I live. We have a spacious lot in a lovely neighborhood 3 minutes from a grocery store. My neighborhood has convenience, space, and as much quiet as is possible when you live 5 minutes from the Interstate. The funny part of this is, I used to hate this city. I disliked being in it, I disliked traveling to and from it, and I even disliked the face of my now-favorite mountain because it was only visible from the city. You see, I "grew up" in the country. (Or the mountains, if you will). And once upon a time, I was always going to be a country girl. I was never going to be a city girl. NEVER. 

But, as will happen, life changes. And when I was fourteen, my family relocated right smack dab in the middle of the city in which I would never live. We sold our property and not-so-city friendly animals and I found myself in a true neighborhood with only my dogs and no ability to prove I was from the country. 

When you find yourself suddenly removed from everything with which you identify is when you discover where some of your insecurities lie. And I think some of my identity lay within being from the country. As if this was enough to simply make me better than anyone else. In reality, it was probably simply just my insecurity speaking up. I no longer had a horse, and other girls did. I no long lived miles away from the closest grocery store or could brag about the intense silence of where I lived, but other girls did. My identity consisting partially of just being from the country probably helped to make me rather insecure. The type of insecurity that brags the ability to horseback ride and the standard of only country music. And you know what? I really do not think anyone cared whether I could ride a horse, what animals I had owned, what music I listened to, or even where I was "from." 

And now... well now, I'm not really from the country or from the city. I like where I live and I would really like to live on a ranch or farm one day. But this doesn't mean that the battle of insecurity doesn't still tumble about my boat from time to time. And this leads me to where I have been trying to get all along...

Who, What, or Where Do We Identify With?

And does it matter? If the question pertains to whether someone spent most of their life in the country or spent most of their life in the city, I will go out on a limb and say, no, it does not really matter. Yes, it is important because those are experiences which you had. And that does matter. As far as being better than another person because one is simply born or raised somewhere or because one says y'all versus you all, that does not determine one's worth. 

But there is one Person I think it is good to identify with and to have your security in. When I go somewhere, when I say something, when I do something, I want to show that I am Christ's. His. I know I fail terribly at this but I also know that while I still feel insecure from time to time, I can be secure in the fact that I will ALWAYS, always be His. It isn't even telling people face up I am a Christian. Because it is not something I did of myself. It was all Jesus. He called me and He forgave me. And I want to show people that no matter what, I am loved so much by my Savior. By my King. By my Heavenly Father. I don't want to argue about where I am from and how I am better because of that, because I am not better. I am just as nasty as ever other person. We are all on the same level as far as being sinful and helpless goes. I am just SO glad that I have been forgiven by my wonderful Savior. I am so glad I am a child of the one true King. 

And so, while I still struggle with being insecure, while I still struggle with feeling like I have to be better, I am hoping I am learning to rest in the one thing that matters: I am a sinner. Jesus died for me and rose again. He has called me to repentance and has forgiven me. And I am His. 

(Yes, I did add some photos from where I used to live... and it was a pretty awesome place.)

Protein Bars

  

It is definitely a sign that finals for the semester are over when you 1) have way more time and 2) get to blog again!

I recently came across a recipe for protein bars, that was originally from the “Heal Your Gut” cookbook, which is yummy and actually works! (Yay for the last one). This recipe is pretty easy and tasty- though it is best straight out of the freezer. The ingredients are all pretty good for you and there is no baking- so the benefit of raw ingredients is not lost.

Prep Time: 10 minutes       Ready: 1 to 2 hours

Dry Ingredients:

2-2 ½ cups of almonds and pecans

1-1   ½ cups of flax, sunflower and pumpkin seeds

1 cup of shredded coconut

½ teaspoon salt

Wet Ingredients:

½ cup coconut oil

1-2   teaspoons vanilla

¼ cup honey

Put the dry ingredients in your blender. (We have a Vitamix and it does a wonderful job blending up everything. The blender will turn the dry ingredients into almost a flour, so if you prefer more chunks in your bars, you may want to stop blending while there are still chunks of nuts.) Blend until fine – you may have to turn off the blender and stir the ingredients around a couple times as the nuts are pretty oily and tend to cake up at the bottom. Transfer the ingredients to a mixing bowl.

Melt the coconut oil over a low heat and turn off. Add ¼ cup honey and vanilla. Then pour into the mixing bowl. Mix together the dry and wet ingredients (since the coconut oil is in liquid form, the mixture will probably look a little wet).  

Grease an 8x8 pan thoroughly. Transfer the mixture into the pan and smooth. Place in the freezer until almost completely solid.

Meanwhile, you can mix up a yummy chocolate spread made out of 1 to 2 tablespoons of coconut oil, several tablespoons cocoa powder and honey until you reach desired sweetness.

After the bars have set up for a while, spread the chocolate across the bars and return to the freezer. Allow the bars to set for another hour or so- then remove, cut up, place in a container and put back in the freezer.

The One We Can Lean On

 Happy New Year! We are well into January now, and as a testament to this, I am sitting next to a blazing wood stove and outside the sun is beginning to break through the clouds and cause our snow-ridden world to begin to sparkle.
 The past year has been full of blessings, new memories and even some difficult days with God to help us work through them. But now the page flips over and we begin a whole new year and my goal is to let this year be directed by God and be filled with true joy.My mother, brothers, and I started the year off by taking a road trip to Florida. It was amazingly fun and enjoyable- a time filled with enjoying the beautiful beach, making fun memories with family and friends, my first ever roller coaster experience, and some interesting discoveries in God's Word. 

I must say that a super coaster was an experience I am not likely to forget- shooting 60 mph out of the boarding area was enough to cause me to scream for basically the entire ride. 


 

I am mostly familiar with West Coast beaches so this warm, sunny, soft-sand beach was perhaps the most pleasant I have ever been to and it most certainly had beautiful sunsets.

But of course, one of the main highlights is always getting to visit with family and friends. It was fun getting to see my sister and her family. My youngest nephew has changed so much since I last saw him in October. And my oldest nephew is growing up so fast. 




But finally, on our drive home, I was looking in 2 Corinthians and found some thoughts which perhaps will be encouraging. 

II Corinthians 1:9-10

"Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust the He will still deliver us."

Those are incredible words. God has already delivered us from death- sin. But He is also there for everyday struggles and trials. And He is with us through them all. Sometimes, I feel like God is very far away. But the truth is, He is right beside me. Always. No matter how unlovable I am being. And as those beautiful verses so point out: we can trust that He will deliver us. This does not mean there will not be trials or suffering. But it does mean that we can lean on Him to carry us through our hottest and thickest battles- and to give us joy in the midst of our toughest nights and our hardest days.

Some days I feel more or less at peace and the next, I feel as if I have lost it. It does not matter what we feel though, and as a beautiful song says, "You are the peace in my troubled sea." God is faithful and "if we are faithless, He remains faithful." ~ II Timothy 2:13 
And later in II Corinthians 3, He reminds us that - "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." 

Our sufficiency is from God. Well if this is so, then I must lay my life in His hands and trust Him to care for me in the way He knows best. There is just one problem with this proposition for me- I have trust issues. 

But once again He leaves us Words of comfort and perhaps they will encourage you today- wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Whether your day is off to a brilliant start or you are feeling lost. Remember, He is our Lighthouse- and look to Him when you are lost in your "troubled sea." 

"Trust in the LORD (YHWH) with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding,

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct your paths." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Our logic. Our fears. Sometimes they do not make sense. Therefore Trust in the LORD.